Am I The Only One Who Thinks Like This?

The Buried Life

Yes, Monkeys Frequent My Dreams.

Last night, I had a dream where I was at a circus, sitting front in center. The whole concept of me being at a circus is ridiculous, because I dislike the entire concept. Clowns freak me out (because they remind me of dolls), and I always feel bad for the animals. But, in my dream, I was ecstatic, and I had even purchased cotton candy in a fancy circus bucket. I was laughing at the monkeys dancing around on stage, banging their cymbals together, when one of the monkeys has a moment of independence. He breaks free from the group of circus monkeys, and runs into the audience. His cymbals have been abandoned, and he is running for me, a wide grin on his face. He lands in my lap, and claps.
The guy who is dumb enough to lock himself in a giant cage with eight lions decides that he wants his monkey back. 
"The monkeys aren't supposed to leave the stage," He holds his hand out, expecting me to hand him the monkey that looks more than comfortable on my lap.
"Sorry, you should have trained him better," And with that, I left the circus with my new monkey friend, who I named Alphonzo.


I wish I was that cool in real life.

Nothing shows you exactly how disgusting people are until you work in a restaurant.

While working at Chick Fil A, I often wondered how people actually allow themselves to act like animals.

A family would come in with three or four children, sit down for dinner, and by the time they left it was like a wild pack of banshees had torn the entire dining room to shreds.

What's worse is that's how their children are being raised.

It's okay to be disgusting, it's not our job to clean.

Another adventure at Chick Fil A, was when I got to clean vomit out of the sink in the women's restroom. It was a mixture of Banana Pudding Milkshake, and hair. HAIR. Long, black, thick hair. Once I got past the fact that the woman throwing up had a stomach full of fluff, I thought about how disgusting I would have felt if I threw up in a sink in a public restroom, especially when the toilet is merely two steps away. I personally would have felt so gross, that I would have to rinse it out myself, before allowing anyone to attempt to wash their hands.

Now, working at IKEA, I expected the Bistro/Swedish Food Market to be a little more... classy. However, I was wrong.

We don't sell many things in the Bistro. You have the option of a hot dog, a cinnamon bun, a slice of pizza, or a frozen yogurt cone. Hot dogs are the most popular menu item, being able to buy a 100% beef hot dog for 50 cents (tax included), but people never eat the entire hot dog. They always leave the last two inches of the hot dog on the table, surrounded by puddles of ketchup and mustard, sometimes pickle relish, and leave the store, completely ignoring the fact that there SIX trashcans in the area.

When I have children, the first lesson I teach them will be to clean up after themselves. They will not be disgusting little monsters, going into public places only to destroy and cause mayhem.